Surprise!!!!

Batch Three!

I found out on April 18, 2008 that I was pregnant again. This is the 5th pregnancy for me and I found out at about 4 weeks, 4 days. One faint line. Another, then another, then another. The first test I took was negative and so I continued taking them day after day after day and the second one and from then on was positive. Faint, very faint. So faint that after I had taken about 5 from the Dollar Tree, I bought one of those digital packs. Took about 5 seconds and then I received a “POSITIVE.”
Nice birthday present. I guess.

I was scared, nervous, obviously excited but concerned that this might affect the custody/divorce case that had just began. Joe was excited, but I think initially was more concerned and nervous himself. This will be his first. At this time, X had taken Ice and K. and most of my/our/the kids stuff and moved upstairs to the third floor. I was staying at Joe’s temporary place a few blocks away.
The initial reason I began taking pregnancy tests was because one day I was speaking to Sarah on the phone while pacing around the apartment during a study break. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the floor on my face in a puddle of drool. After I came to some sense of what could have possibly happened (fainting), I called S. back and she said that mid-sentence I stopped talking and started moaning. She stayed on the line as long as she could calling my name but no response from me. After the phones hung up she thought maybe Joe had come home and we were making out or something. It never crossed her mind that I might be in a puddle on the floor. She said I had been out about 15 minutes when I called her back.

That scared the SHIT out of me. I had just moved out of my friend (ex?) Heather’s house and had experienced two of her seizures with her. Those were also killers. I had to realize she was seizing, hold her still and compress her, basically for minutes until she calmed down and came to. Also, with her, she had no recollection of any of it. The first time it happened while I was at her house, after I determined she was all right, I went out in the parking lot and just wept. It scared me so bad. So you can imagine what I felt when I realized that perhaps I’d had a seizure myself, or at the very least, just fainted out cold. (the previous pregnancy fainting I always have is brief, 30 seconds to a minute. I get about a 20 second warning before and then I black out. I can still hear (rather intensely actually) and I am aware of what is going on, but I cannot see. When I regain my vision shortly later, I am nauseated to death.

Not. This. Time!

The second time was after we had just come home from the bar where we told some of our friends that we were expecting. ( I was drinking juice thank you!)
When we got home, I decided to shower to get the smoke out of my hair. I had shampooed and was putting conditioner in my hair. That was the last thing I remember before I woke to Joe busting the bathroom door open and myself laying on the floor, naked, rinsed off and with my head through the wall. Joe YELLED at me. He was so scared and angry and couldn’t believe that I was okay. I apparently had gotten out (or fell out) of the shower, banged my head against the wall and broke it through before passing out on the floor. I don’t remember anything until he was yelling at me after taking the doorknob off and busting in. I flatly refused to go anywhere. Certainly not to the ER, and after some hours he calmed down and we went to bed. Now, I knew I was pregnant at that time but it still scared me to death. This has and had NEVER happened before aside from the first fainting spell.

(I’m not sure if this will ever be published or not because today I am only 6 weeks, 4 days and the first appointment is on Monday.) We probably will not even hear the heartbeat at the first appointment, although of course I hope we do. It’s still extremely early. This might end up being nothing more than a molar pregnancy or worse. It’s too early to know yet. Thing is, it’s different this time. Drastically! I had begun cramping heavily in the beginning and almost thought I saw extremely light spotting. But nothing that I could actually prove. I went to the emergency room because of this and they did blood work- HCG was 65. They did a regular ultrasound and then a trans-vaginal U/S and neither showed anything much except a small ovarian cyst. They did a pelvic and assured me that i appeared to be pregnant, then sent me home. Lovely.